Making Art Teaches Me To Trust Myself
A few thoughts on why I make art:
When I was a young woman — past puberty, but still trying to make sense of myself in the world — my self esteem was very low. I wanted to matter and to be wanted. I felt awkward and sometimes unlovable. I realize this is not unique to me. Poor self image seems rampant among young women. But the bottom line is that I didn’t know how to trust myself. I was always looking for outside approval.
Art changed that for me.
My first real taste of confidence came on stage as part of community theatre experiences. Then, largely due to the influence of my grandmothers Jane & Orma, I began to draw and paint. The biggest part of this transformation came at the hands of a daily journal. It was given to me by my grandma Jane, for whom I am named. She wrote on the first page, “Sarah, I believe one day you could write. And every good writer keeps a journal.”
To this day, my journal is the root system for the rest of my creative work.
Making art teaches me to trust myself.
This alone has been the greatest gift of a life spent making art.
I still get butterflies when I face a blank page or an empty canvas. I still don't know what will happen or where it will go. But that is no matter. The end is not important at all. The practice of showing up and stepping into the center of my knowing unlocks both the question and the answer.
I'm not in search of a beautiful painting or a perfectly crafted story. I'm seeking trust. I'm seeking sure-footed creative offers. I'm seeking lift-off. I'm seeking flight.
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