The Fullness of My Expression

There was a new moon this week, and just last week, Mercury retrograde kicked off its third spin for the year. For those of you who dread retrograde season, think of this new moon as an opportunity to release expectations. Let's ditch our old coping mechanisms and dream a bit bigger. Besides, the Autumn Equinox has just passed and it's time to welcome a change of season.

So much of my creative work has involved sharing my life with you: the wholeness of who I am, my evolution, my growth, challenges and discoveries. My creative process requires a kind of vulnerability that I find generative, scary, and also rewarding. And my art is inextricably linked to who I am and to the manner in which I live my life.

For this new moon, I'd like to share some exciting and significant news with you.

At the end of July, I wrote about some vulnerable truths in my newsletter concerning the way I've overworked myself. Then I took two months away from the newsletter (and from many of my work commitments), something I haven't done in more than four years. I've been in transition, quietly preparing myself for a fresh new era of 'becoming.' (The new moon is always a good time to shift energies, yes?)

Here it is:

I'm gay.

I've known it for most of my life. And I've been slowly – and joyfully! – coming out over the past few years to my husband, my kids, and my immediate circle of friends. Now, I'm coming out here as a way to continue to show up whole and live into my values of being in right-relationship with my community. For me, being in right-relationship with you means that I uplift my truth and trust its unfolding.

This community is so important to me.

You’ve been a part of our family in so many ways: from Charlie’s birth and disability, to our move from Dallas to Eastern Oregon, to my departure from StateraArts and investing in my own art practice, to a dang tree falling on our house! We have grown and developed right alongside you. That’s why I feel called to share this news with you.

For those of you who are deeply connected to my family or my art practice and want to know more, feel free to read on. For those of you who crave only art news, feel free to scroll down to the next section.

Living authentically is a deeply held and embodied value of mine, and so it's time for me to step into the fullness of my identity.

My beloved partner Jack and I are in the process of reframing our marriage. Our relationship is still very much intact, but the nature of it is shifting, and we are in a transitional kind of separation now.

We’ve been taking it slow as we figure out the best and most loving way to transform the nature of how our family operates. And we’re now sharing this news with our community as a way to deepen a support network for our kids and for ourselves as we continue to “come out” in a more public way.

Jack and I are mapping the future of our family together as we’ve always done. Our marriage has been one of deep mutual respect, lively conversation, shared values, and radical empathy. And the way in which we’re evolving our partnership is still very much aligned with the relationship we've nurtured for 20-plus years.

The kids are well and thriving. Everyone in our household is feeling grounded in our mutual care and love for each other. And we’re really proud of the way we’re holding the complexity, the grief, and the joy of this unfolding all at once.

Our family is open and happy and excited to share this news with you. And we also understand that it might be a lot to absorb. It certainly has been for us! Your support of our long union has been life-giving. And we know that our marriage has also been life-giving for our community. Our commitment to each other is also our commitment to you: that we will love each other as we change, grow, and unfurl.

My creative expression always reflects the truth that I am living — be it home remodels, caring for Charlie through the years, writing plays, facilitating leading edge conversations, or making art. I trust that this new unfolding, this shifting family dynamic, and this joyful queerness, will also be expressed in the art that emerges. I can’t wait to see — and share — what comes next.

Thank you for receiving this information with grace and for being such a light in our lives.